There’ll be plenty of red construction paper hearts, pink cupcakes and special dinners on February 14th. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about love. But somewhere between the giant, silver foil candies and the heart-shaped sugar cookies, love may have gotten squeezed out. As parents, we often fall into the “give our children all we can” trap, desperate to provide the best life possible for them. With our busy schedules and determination to do all we can for those little ones, and big ones, we sometimes forget to show our children real love. Perhaps we just need a little reminder and Valentine’s Day is a good place to start!
Acts of love and cherished childhood memories are not made of expensive gifts, but of simple things: hugs, conversations, unhurried time spent together and traditions repeated and passed down through the generations. Here are a few simple ways to express your love for your child on Valentine’s Day and all year long:
Say, “I love you.” Often we’re so busy showing our children that we love them, providing financially, preparing meals, and giving them things that we sometimes forget to say, “I love you.” Toddlers often feel that they are only loved when they are good or when we are praising them. Let your child know everyday that you love them unconditionally.
“Let go” of your guilt. Being a parent is overwhelming at times. We often question whether we are doing what is right and giving our children the love, attention and discipline they need to be successful in school and life. There’s no right way to be a good parent. Allow for your own mistakes. “Let go” of the guilt.
Be with your Child. Are we really with our children or just around them? Sure, we’re managing our homes, running errands and checking social networks and emails, but how much time do we really spend with them? Even though it’s difficult, turn off the radio and TV, put down your phone, and play with your child, not just around them.
Dream with your Child. Remember as a child, lying on your back and watching the sky, naming the shapes of clouds floating by and thinking about life, just daydreaming. Simple thoughts and conversations can spark the imagination, plant a seed of curiosity or begin a dream. Every job well done, every great act of generosity began with a thought, a dream. Hang out and dream with your child.
Celebrate your child’s best efforts and successes. When our children were infants, they would look up searching for our smiles when they made a toy squeak or clapped their hands. Their every move was a triumph. With preschoolers we can still praise good grades, nice manners, and more importantly controlling anger, helping a friend and playing soccer even though we all know our child is not the best one on the team. It’s not about being the best – praise your child for trying. Watch your child sleep. Before you go to bed each night spend a few minutes watching your child sleep. Breathe in the calmness and know it’s all worth it. Sometimes parents long for “sleep-in mornings,” spontaneous weekend trips, career opportunities lost and priorities changed. But just because the world’s most important job doesn’t come with a paycheck, doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with rewards: wet, slurpy kisses, little, gooey handprints and, all encompassing, “I’ll do anything for this kid,” love.
Happy Valentine’s Day from your extended family at Lightbridge Academy!
